The impromptu interrogation usually goes one of three ways: your life must be wonderful, your life must be terrible, I have some vague connection to a twin.
Life with twins can be quite exhausting. Getting out the door to begin with is quite a production, and more often than not it’s just the boys and me running errands. In those early month, I’d start the prepping process at least 40 minutes before I expected to pull out of the driveway. The clock is already ticking to return home to breast feed (rarely done in public alone with both boys), put them down for a nap, and catch up on my own food/sleep. Whether its the mall, grocery shopping, a local park, or even attending a mommy event, people are transfixed with seeing and asking about my boys. I can only imagine its the compounded cuteness and morbid curiosity that pulls down all social barriers to ask the most TMI of questions from a stranger.
Seriously, twins attract a crowd!
People love to coo over my twins and pepper me with questions and assumptions of what life with multiples is really like. Our baby bringing behemoth of a stroller is too conspicuous to ignore, and perhaps they assume too cumbersome for a quick escape. I’ve had people interrupt me on my cell phone, chat me up while unloading in a wind storm, and corner me at checkout just to gush over the little guys. The impromptu interrogation generally goes one of three ways: Your life must be wonderful, your life must be terrible, they have some (often vague) connection to a twin.
Here is a slimmed down collection of what I hear from strangers as a mom of multiples...
The soft openers:
“Are they twins?”
“Two for One, eh?”
“I’ve always wanted twins!!”
*GASP* “Twins!”
“Babies!!” – usually from little girls
“They are so beautiful! “
“You’re so lucky!”
People are not shy about striking up a conversation with a mom of multiples- and sometimes the mom isn’t even the one being directly spoken to. I have had people shout compliments and greetings to my boys from across the room!
The Rapid Fire Demographics:
“Twins? Are they identical? How old are they? (Guess at the Gender) Names? Who’s older? Are they the same size?”
Sometimes people don’t take a breath or take the time to process my answer before firing off the next question. The excitement of seeing twins in the wild has seemingly overwhelmed their system.
Assuming the worst:
“You must be busy!”
“I could never do it!”
“Do you even sleep? You must be exhausted.”
“I don’t know how you do it!”
“I had only one baby at a time and that was hard enough!”
“Better you than me!”
“Just wait until they get (insert any random age they are not)!”
“One (pregnancy) and done!”
Yes, some days are really, really hard. Some days we don’t make it out the door at all. Twins can be exhausting, but nearly as much as the negativity downpour from total strangers. Every stage has it’s learning curves and challenges. Overall, my life is incredible. I am so blessed by my twin boys. And no, I am not done having babies. Its rude it make that assumption.
Asking the intimate questions:
“Do you breast feed? At the same time?” (While eyeing my giant breasts)
“Do twins run in your family?”
“Did you know you were having twins?”
“Are they natural?”
“Did you need IVF?’
“Were they born vaginal or by C section?”
It honestly still shocks me how twins induce word vomit for anything that pops into a person’s brain. No filter, no sense of interpersonal etiquette. Tell you what, after we finish checking out our groceries, why don’t you tell me all about the journey of your vagina first….
Some obscure commonality:
“My two kids are only __ months apart. So its practically like having twins.”
“My (insert some random person) has twins”
“I’m a twin”
“I have twins too”
I swear, I probably know I about every twin in my home town by now… and no, having two kids very different from raising twins. If you have twins, you understand this.
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