Twins Are More Resilient
From the moment twins arrive, Mom’s attention is divided. Two tiny lives are each counting on you to help them, often simultaneously. Inevitably, one baby will always be left waiting. Someone will be picked up first, nursed first, changed first, or otherwise tended to first. While its heart reaching to listen to your little one calling out for help, your baby does benifit from a delayed ability to provide help. A consiquence of being made to wait naturally builds baby’s ability to self-soothe. Baby’s tolerence to wait with steadily grow. They will begin to trust that someone will be there to help them shortly.
As they get older, babies begin exploring their environment and one another. Twins can expect lots of bumps and scraps- often from each other. Curious fingers grab and poke whatever’s in each, and wobbly bodies often restrict or collapse onto the other. Every day they navigate another person in their space, playing with their toys and seeking the attention of their parent. In my experience, twins are remarkably resilient because of this. They are actively learning to assert their desire for personal space, learning patience while waiting for their turn, and gradually coping with sharing toys. Parents frequently comment on how well-adjusted, confident, and self-reliant my twins are at social events with other children. There are plenty of struggles that come with raising twins, but it’s reassuring to know that many of these struggles have the beneficial side effect of building them up into more resilient, self-confident people.
A unique Bond unlike any other
Before twins take their first breath, they have a companion nestled at their side. As babies, every morning when they wake and every night when they close their eyes, they know their twin is with them. A twin bond is unique and like no other. It is impossible to tell what sort of people your twins will grow into. Whether their personalities will remain synchronized, complementary, or clash. What twins can count on, is knowing that there will be another person growing and discovering in tandem with them. Someone their own age, who will have many of the same lived experiences and childhood memories they will have. A mutual influence on their blossoming identities. A twin bond units in intimate ways that simply can’t be replicated in other sibling or loving relationships. It is a precious gift unique to twins.
Savings on the nonessential
There are potentially extra savings in extracurricular activities. Many baby and children’s programs offer a second child discount- anywhere from 10% to BOGO. When we signed our twins up for baby yoga, the price was per parent, not per baby. Our instructor even took the opportunity to take a twin into her care for demonstrative purposes. I was beaming with pride watching my little one at the front of the class while cherishing one-on-one time with the other twin. The instructor and I switched twins for every class. Why this extracurricular savings is especially fruitful for twin parents, is simply that the twins are the same age. Many children’s activities are segregated between newborn, crawling, walking, verbal, potty trained, etc. This is difficult to align with non-twin siblings. As children get older, their interests may deviate. Unlike other siblings, you can at least benefit from second-child discounts while twins are still little.
Watching the identities form
Twins are a live nature vs nurture presentation. Despite being formed together, birthed moments apart, and raised with many of the same experiences, the way each time interacts with their environment and expresses themselves is wholly unique. In those early weeks, there will probably be very few differences. Sure, one may eat a little more, sleep a little longer or sooth a little quicker. At approximately 3 months you will start seeing your child “awaken”. From such a tender age, your twins are shaping and expressing their own individual personalities. Unlike siblings, where you may have to think back or reference a baby book on when your firstborn crawled, walked, or talked, you are experiencing in real-time the milestones of both your children simultaneously.
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